So it’s official – I’m having a Crohn’s flare again. Went for my 6 month checkup at my doctor (gastroenterologist) and overall we are both very happy with my health at the moment. My symptoms are at a minimum and can enjoy a relatively healthy life in the last year or so. So the trick is going to be to contain and stop the inflammation before it becomes worse and does damage to my intestines.
I sometimes get the idea that Crohn’s works in such a way that you are fighting these little battles (like this one with flare starting up), one after another but if you loose one of these battles it become bit more like a war.
Wars take longer to take place, injuries and consequences seem to be longer lasting and recovering after a war also seems to be slower.
On the other hand the small flare battles are shorter lasting, less damage occurs (although a real pain in the ass – no pun intended) and it seems getting over a battle also cover less time.
Although the ironic thing is the battles often feel more difficult to cope with mentally. It’s more frustrating, emotional and depressing. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all in my head. Not in the sense that it’s not real, but in other words I’m giving myself a harder time to accept that I need to slack and take it easier mostly because I want to feel healthy and ‘like everybody else’.
Sometimes half the battle is about not listening to my brain that want to get up and ‘do stuff’ but to rather listen to my body in taking things a bit slower and rather focus a bit on helping my body to heal.
I could probably write a book on that topic (maybe if I’m brave I will – someday), but for now I’m trying to “take note”, and learn….learn to listen to my gut. Listening to what my body is begging for. For the tools it needs to recover, heal itself so that I can tackle another day full on – just not tomorrow…tomorrow I still need to heal.