So this week I’m hitting my 30th birthday. Can’t believe it!
I always imagined that I would do something wacky and extremely exciting for my 30th, but due to a dip in my health I couldn’t be bothered. Don’t have the energy to plan a party or anything remotely exciting. So Tuesday I’ll just take cake to work and celebrate by going to a nice restaurant the evening with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend has made plans for us on Sunday (tomorrow) but don’t know what they are yet, so atleast there is a surprise to bring some excitement into this week!

So I’m off…trying to think of some last minute exciting stuff we could be doing, that doesn’t take alot of energy to plan

I’m not sure why but I’m scared.
Scared that I’m not making the right choice.

I hoped that by now I would have gained a more ‘permanent’ perspective on life and things that are really important and small things that are not, given some of the health challenges that I’ve been through.

Seems that I’m still learning…still growing…

I’ve been going for interviews, trying to look for a position at a company where I can expand my online skills more. Think I’ve found one
They made me an offer and tomorrow is the big day when I accept and hand in my resignation.
Can you believe I’ve never resigned in my life? Ive only had retrenchments and illegal firing to deal with.

Am quite scared that I’m jumping from the frying pan into the fire. what if the new company give me grief about being sick?

Well, time will tell, but for now it’s going to be difficult to not smile when I had my resignation letter to my boss
Wish me luck!

Why is it so much easier to regain perspective on the important things in life when I get very sick? Usually a hospital visit helps me to regain perspective and allows me to let the stress slide off me.

Well this time I’m determined to gain the same benefits without visiting the hospital

I’m blessed as the last time I was in hospital was 1.5 years ago. However I can feel the Crohn’s is active again. I went for bloodtests a few days ago which confirmed that my CRP level is 40. CRP levels indicate that their is inflammation somewhere in my body. My doctor put my on 3 month dose of entocort to try and get the inflammation back down again.

I think I’m getting better at listening to my body & reacting by controlling the aspects I can do something about.

So now I need to get perspective and not worry or stress about nonsense and take care of my body in order to get better!

A great post with tips of what questions to ask in order to find a good GI doctor to help manage your Crohn’s disease.

I had a great doctor for 9 years until he one day told me not to “ask questions and just do” what he tells me. This was his response when I had concerns about a treatment he was proposing. Needless to say that was the last time I saw him. I found another specialist closer to where I live and so far I’m quite happy with him. It’s difficult to find but I believe a doctor and his patient should “work together” in finding solutions and treatments.

I find it very sad when doctors act like they are gods and the patients are the “stupid” ones. Doctors are also human and sometimes they are not very good in their job! I can write a book about dangerous and stupid things that health care “professionals” have told me. I also had to visit numerous doctors over a period of 3 years before they finally diagnosed me with Crohn’s disease.

All in all I’ve learnt to question what they say with respect but also try to learn and understand as much as possible about my disease. That way I give myself the most “control” to live my life to the best of my ability and stay as healthy as possible.

I’ve held various jobs at different companies over the last 5 years or so and I still don’t really know the answer to this question. Yes I ended up telling all of my employers that I have Crohn’s disease and didn’t keep it from them. However, I didn’t tell them all at the beginning of my appointment.
The Human Resources department at the previous company I worked for gave me a lot of grief about the amount of sick leave I used. This is despite the fact that I didn’t neglect my work and actually worked from home when I had the strength to do so when having a bad flare. The managers were very understanding and supportive and gave me the permission and tools to work from home. In the end the HR department threatened to declare me “incapacitated – due to illness” and to dismiss me, even though their reasons weren’t legal since my performance has not suffered.
Therefore when I started working at a new company a few months ago, I was very reluctant to share the fact that I have a chronic illness from the start. I decided to wait and share the info after my 3 month probation was finished. In the review meeting they told me that they are very happy with my work and had a concern about the amount of sick leave I had to use in the 3 month period. Ironically I had to take sick leave for a bad bout of bronchitis and it wasn’t even Crohn’s related! I decided this was the best time to share this personal information.
So I told them about the Crohn’s, how it wasn’t the reason for my sick leave to date but that I feel my health was very stable at the moment and that I don’t foresee any long periods of sick leave in the near future. It was nerve wrecking to say the least. My manager was very shocked and didn’t expect such a revelation at all, but in the end they permanently appointed me!
I was relieved to say the least.

I still have a concern about the future though. What will happen if my Crohn’s takes a turn for the worst? How will my manager react and will my job be in jeopardy?

Time will tell, but for now I’m trying my best not to stress about it seeing as that will surely increase my chances for getting ill! I am however giving it a lot of thought. What can I do to prepare for such an event? Is there something that I can do now to help me survive if I do loose my employment?

In a way I feel this shouldn’t be such an issue, since the type of work I do allows for flexibility and access anywhere where there is Internet access. The fact that I do Online/Internet Marketing should make things easier. Unfortunately it doesn’t really. My theory is that this is mainly due to a largely conservative outlook of South African companies who still shy away from flexi-time and other arrangements out of the usual 8am-5pm bracket.

But I’m not giving up yet, just wrestling with ideas, theories and possible solutions. In the meantime I’m continuing my work, trying to learn and grow as much as possible in my career while keeping my body as healthy as possible.

I’ve been thinking about this very topic for quite a few months now.
How do you give your health and Crohn’s enough attention without it “taking over your life”? Looking back at the first few years after my diagnosis, I can now see that I was in denial. I tried to ignore the issues and challenges I faced and sometimes even refused to adapt my diet. I had a lot of inflammation episodes and pain which helped me to slowly realise that I can’t simply ignore Crohn’s because it won’t just disappear overnight.
I also went through a stage after that where I went into overdrive to find information about Crohn’s. I think I also talked a lot about Crohn’s related topics and probably drove my loved ones nuts. Which leads me to my question: I don’t want Crohn’s to define me but how do I deal with the issues that comes with it without letting it define me?

At this point in time I don’t really have an answer for it, but it’s not stopping me. I need to find my personal balance. How to not ignore my Crohn’s but also not looking at myself as “abnormal”. It’s a struggle sometimes and other times it feels easy.

I came across this article Cadet not defined by Crohn’s and found it very inspiring. Inspired to such an extent that I was finally able to put these thoughts into words and face them. I don’t know if I can imagine myself becoming a cadet or take part in any other physically demanding career. But despite Crohn’s, Cadet James Lewis is still taking life head-on. Go James!!
Reading about people with courage like this gives me a bit of a courage boost as well. Thank you James…
*image courtesy of the postandcourier.com and charleston.net

No kidding!

I came across Research today that states they found the rates of depression and some types of anxiety disorders, are high among people with IBD (Crohn’s disease and Ulcerative Colitis).

My immediate thoughts were: “Why does that surprise anybody?” My immediate conclusion is that the researchers who initiated this research are either all relatively healthy with healthy loved ones OR they are running out of ideas as to what they could research next.

Seriously, do you know anybody who does not struggle with feelings of depression or anxiety when they are sick? Now ask yourself the question, what would happen when the illness doesn’t stop like a flu bug would?